History of the Clanflaws
Ventrue: Ladies and gentlemen. We've got a new problem. Ow children now want to know how we differ... what makes us unique.
Toreador: That's easy.... We're all unique... special... beautiful... in our own way we are...
Brujah: shut up. He means what differs the CLANS, you wasted underpants.
Malk: Never waste underwear, in this time of the year, they are hard to find.
Ventrue: Exactly Brujah. What puts us in... a cathegory of our own. What makes us what we are... Our CLAN.
Brujah: Yeah, another way how the mortals can find us.
Malk: What mortals?
Brujah: Shut up, before I crush you, you fool!
Ventrue: *sigh* Any suggestion?
Toreador: Special clothes?
Tremere: Necklaces? Mystical amulets?
Malkav: Cheese... different kinds of chees, belonging to each of the clans. There are diffenent kinds of chees among which we can choose, you see?
Brujah: *Looks at Nosferatu* Oh yeah, let's guess who's the smelly cheese...
Nosferatu: I've heared that!
Ventrue: I was thinking of something more dooming, a weakness, a little... flaw.
Malkav: I say Kryptonite!!!
Brujah: *smashes him on the head* I would need a fist of Kryptonite. SHUT UP!
Malkav: Unnrkh.
Ventrue: O.K. Brujah... Yours will be your temper. For obvious reason.
Brujah: Temper! WHAT TEMPER? Damn suit... You would be upset too, if you'd had to sit inbetween Nosferatu and Malkav.
Ventrue: *cough* Torrie, since you love the art... you should be known as the clan of artists.
Toreador: Tragically... yet... very beautiful. I agree.
Malkav: *with a silent voice* I still want kryptonite.
Brujah: *SMACK* Haha. Temper... sure... cool.
Malkav: Unnnggh.
*Nosferatu scratches his chin, loosening up some skinn.
Nosferatu: And what is my... flaw?
*silence*
Ventrue *shivers* Let's come to you, Gangrel. Yours will be... each time you'll frenzy... you look more and more like an animal.
Gangrel: WHAAAT? What do you mean by "You look more and more like an animal??"
Ventrue: It begins very small... you see... a fur... a deep voice... maybe horns...
Gangrel: WHAAAT??? Hey come on... Torrie becomes melancholic when he sees some stupid pics and I get a fucking hawknose? Well yeah... real fair... *the growling becomes deeper*
Assamite: And I?
Tremere: You can't drink vampireblood *laughter* it's poison to you. Your hair falls out and you look like him *points at Nosferatu*
Ventrue: Agree.
Nosferatu: I'm still waiting.
*Silence, Malkav giggles*
Assamite: Whay can TREMERE choose my flaw???
Tremere: Just like that, pal.
Ventrue: Tremere... when Assamite can't drink vampire blood... then you will HAVE TO drink it... all the blood of your elders.
Malkav: Doesn't anybody get kryptonite?
Brujah: *Whamm* temper...I LOVE it.
Ventrue: Lasombra... hmmm... no mirror image.
Lasombra: You should give THAT to Nosferatu...
Nosferatu: I'm waiting...
Ventrue: *cough* I'll come to you right away, Nos... Is that acceptable Lasombra?
Lasombra: Yeah... But you guys tell me when there's something on my chin...
Ventrue: No problem. Hmmm... Tzim... your weakness... will be...
Malkav: To have a clan name that nobody can spell nor pronounce?
Ventrue: Yes... Err No. You... must sleep... in your natural soil... or there has to be some of it in your coffin.
Gangrel: WHAAAT???? I get webbed toes and she has to sleep in DIRT?
Tzim: Agree.
Gangrel: I want something new...
Nosferatu: I'm still waiting... have you forgot?
*Silence*
Ventrue: Let's go on with... Giovanni... Your kiss hurts... there 's no pleasure in your bite.
Toreador: Can you say THAT again?
Everybody looks at Torrie: oh, sorry... was that too silent?
Giovanni: one night, your unlife will torture you.
Ventrue: Ravnos. Your nature is criminal.
Ravnos: *returns Ventrue his purse* Sorry.
Ventrue: *takes it blinking* Err no. I meant.... *shakes his head* aaaaaaal right. The money too, purrlease?
Ravnos: Oh here... sorry.
Nosferatu: When do I get one?
Brujah: At birth...
*surpressed laughter*
Ventrue: Errrr... you there, over there, Setite... yours is... you can't stand light.
Gangrel: HEY MAN WHAT KINDA BULLSHIT IS THIS??? I get batwings and he doesn't like bright light???
Malkav: Fligh my little monkeys... FLYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Brujah: *Lifts his hand and Malkav winces*
Setite: *grins* Agree. Fair and just. *blinks*
Gangrel: *points at Setite* He blinked!! Did the two of you had an agreement?? Gawddamned snakes...
Nosferatu: If you keep ignoring me... I become UGLY!
Malkav: Too late.
*surpressed laughter*
Ventrue: Did I forget someone?
Malkav: Do I get my kryptonite now?
Tzim: You little man, you haff enuv purroblems, you don't need no flaw.
Ventrue: So it's decided...
Nosferatu: You forgot yourself... and ME.
Brujah: Exactly. Mr. Niggling. What's your flaw?
Ventrue: *smiles* I am niggling... about... what I eat...
Gangrel: *stands up, her chair smashs to the ground* I LEAVE!! *points at everyone at the room* I get a frickin udder like a fucking COW and YOU sleep in the DIRT? You are a nervous eater? You deepen yourself into art? You... *points at Nosferatu* Okay... it could have come worse...
Nosferatu: I've got it. I am the flawless clan. That's it.
Brujah: *laughs* Yup, that's it.
Ventrue: *cough* The meeting is closed.
Malkav leaves the meeting, singing silently: You are hideous... you are hideous... and your mummy dresses you ridiculous... you are hideous... you are hideous...
|
|
|
|
login | registreren | FAQ | menu verklappen
|