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Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning

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Rollenspellen > World of Darkness > WoD Settings > Humor

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door Kennin mandraak, 636 / 6705 gepost: 2-7-2002 om 17u11	Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	*Where vampires came from* VENTRUE: Okay, guys, sit down. I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all here. TOREADOR: I should think so. I have an engagement in two hours that I simply MUST attend, and I don't want to be late. VENTRUE: Yeah, yeah. Order. Well, I don't know about you guys, but my Progeny have been asking some rather ...embarassing questions, and I� MALKAV: Just tell them that when a Mummy and a Daddy love each other very much� VENTRUE: Shut up, Malkav. Anyway, they want to know where we come from, why, how, the whole bit. I think it's time we had an answer for them. [silence] BRUJAH: Well, what are you asking us for? WE don't fucking know. SAULOT: LANGUAGE! BRUJAH: Sorry. VENTRUE: What about you, Ralph? You seem to have your nose in every- thing. NOSFERATU: No, I am ... no longer called "Ralph." From this day forward, you shall call me: "Nosferatu." [silence] RAVNOS: I dunno, man. Ralph suits you. NOSFERATU: No! I REFUSE to be stuck with that name. VENTRUE: Leave him alone Ravnos. TOREADOR: Actually, while we're on the subject ... VENTRUE: What is it now? TOREADOR: I have taken the pseudonym "Toreador." [more silence] HASSAM: You've never even SEEN a bull, let alone fight one, Norman. TOREADOR: LEAVE ME ALONE !!! RAVNOS: I was gonna say something about "full of ..." Oh, never mind. VENTRUE: SHALL we get back to business? LASOMBRA: I think "Nosferatu" sounds cool actually, Ralph. NOSFERATU: And it's a lot easier to say when you can't retract your fangs. VENTRUE: GENTLEMEN! [silence] VENTRUE: Okay, any ideas? TZIMISCE: Uh ... VENTRUE: Yes, Tzimisce? TZIMISCE: Yas. Do you think it vaz a disease, perrrhaps? SAULOT: Nnnnnnno ... I don't think so. I'd know about it by now if it was. MALKAV: Ooo! Ooo! I've got an idea! VENTRUE: [groan] What? MALKAV: Ooo! Ooo! We're ALL ... aliens! Yeah! From the planet ... Yuggoth! BRUJAH: Malkav? MALKAV: Yeah? BRUJAH: Drop dead. [silence] MALKAV: Ain't it just TOO BAD you don't have Dominate? BRUJAH: REAL men don't NEED Dominate! [thud] MALKAV: Owww! RAVNOS: Okay, I've got it. VENTRUE: Yes? RAVNOS: They're not REALLY vampires, they just THINK they are. VENTRUE: Hmmm ... not bad ... but then the dumb ones will try to prove you wrong by taking a sunbake. LASOMBRA: SO? Weeds out the stupid ones, less of a population problem, less nosy Progeny asking silly questions. TOREADOR: Lasombra, you are perverted. LASOMBRA: Hey, am I my brother's keeper? TZIMISCE: He has a valid point, frrriend. TOREADOR: Sickening creatures. [sniggering] SAULOT: Brother's keeper ... hey! That reminds me! You know those guys who wear the funny tea towels on their heads� HASSAM: WATCH it, three-eyes. SAULOT: Sorry. Anyway, they have this old story about this one guy who kills his brother and gets cursed, see ... SUTEKH: Cursssed, you sssay? Hmmm ... I like it! NOSFERATU: Yeah, but if YOU say it, no-one will believe it. TREMERE: I know! We did it by magick! [silence] BRUJAH: Who the hell are you? TREMERE: Oh. Tremere, Arrogant Scheming Mage at your service! SAULOT: Hang on, you're not supposed to be here until A.D. 1314! TREMERE: So? I'm an Oracle of Time. I'll be when I want. VENTRUE: A mortal, eh? Hey, Tremere! TREMERE: Yeah? VENTRUE: GET OUT. TREMERE: Sure. [slam] [muffled] Damn. Must learn how to do that. VENTRUE: Now, we might be onto something with this "curse" business. We haven't heard from Gangrel yet, and we need a female opinion at this juncture. What do you think, Gangrel? [silence] VENTRUE: Gangrel? [more silence] VENTRUE: Anybody seen Gangrel? RAVNOS: Errr, actually, we've had a bit of a disagreement ... MALKAV: Awww, doesn't Mummy wuv you any more? RAVNOS: Suck off. MALKAV: DOES she do it doggy-style? [biff] RAVNOS: Thank you, Brujah. BRUJAH: No prob, bro. VENTRUE: Okay, so what gives with this curse thing? SAULOT: Well, they say that the first two sons of the first man had to give offerings to God. The first brother gave plants and stuff, and the second brother gave animal blood. ALL: Yeah! Alright! Sounds great! Cool! SAULOT: So the older one -- Cain, I think -- killed Abel, the younger one, and was cursed by God for the very first murder. HASSAM: Innovative man, this Cain. SUTEKH: Ssso, we're dessscended from a psssychopathic greengrocccer. How about we're dessscended from the MURDERED one, ssso that we are the CHOSSSEN of God, the INHERITORSSS of DIVINE POWER, the� MALKAV: You REALLY have a God complex, don't you Sutekh? Tell me about your mother. Did she lock you in a cupboard? Or� [biff] BRUJAH: Final warning, kook. VENTRUE: Sutekh, please, stop standing on your chair. TREMERE: I like the "cursed by God" thing, actually. VENTRUE: How did YOU get in here? TREMERE: Correspondence. Don't you know ANYTHING? Hey, Saulot! SAULOT: Yeah? TREMERE: I JUST worked out where I've seen you before. Could I have a word with you outside? It won't take more than five minutes. Promise. SAULOT: Sure. You seem like a decent enough fellow. [slam] LASOMBRA: Wonder what he wants ... anyway ... TOREADOR: I think I prefer the older brother. He's a charming, regal figure who diligently sacrifices for his Lord, but is consumed by jealousy into a desperate act -- which he regrets later, of course -- but TOO LATE to avoid the harsh judgment of an UNCARING God, and is DOOMED to wander the earth, OUTCAST from his fellow man! Oh, the horror! Oh, the HUMANITY! Oh, the ANGST! BRUJAH: What's an "angst"? SUTEKH: Oh, it'sss a kind of a crossss, but with a loopy bit on top. My guysss love 'em. BRUJAH: Oh. [pause] I don't get it ... TOREADOR: Philistines. [scream from outside] TZIMISCE: Vat the hell vas that? NOSFERATU: Sounded like Saulot. HEY! YOU GUYS SHUT UP OUT THERE! [door opens] TREMERE: Oh, sorry, uhhh ... Saulot says to say that, uhhh, he ... had to leave -- real quick, like ... uhhh, but he was REAL happy about it, and, uhhh, he was glad he caught up with you guys again. NOSFERATU: Is it me, or does he look kinda pale? VENTRUE: Who cares? Getting back to this curse thing ... LASOMBRA: So, are we his direct Progeny, then? 'Cos if so, how come we don't know where he is now? MALKAV: Errr, he made us, then ran away. Really fast. RAVNOS: No, no, no, he made some OTHER guys first, and then THEY made US ... TOREADOR: And he repented of The Horror He Had Unleashed Upon The Earth! And banished himself from the sight of ALL! MALKAV: AND ran away really fast. TOREADOR: If you must. VENTRUE: But how come we're all so different? TOREADOR: The Curse works in Mysterious Ways ... NOSFERATU: Yeah! I used to be the most handsome man in the world ... RAVNOS: Yeah, right. LASOMBRA: And I had a reflection! BRUJAH: Can I have been a philosopher? RAVNOS: And Toreador used to have taste ... MALKAV: And I used to be insane! [silence] VENTRUE: I think we might be pushing our luck here. SUTEKH: Any BETTER ideasss? VENTRUE: Well, let's put it to a vote, then. Magick? TREMERE: Aye. VENTRUE: That's one. [silence] VENTRUE: Okay, aliens from the planet Yuggoth? MALKAV: Twenty-three. VENTRUE: Your multiple personalities don't count, Malkav. MALKAV: Awww ... VENTRUE: The chosen son of God? ... Sutekh, Lasombra, Tzimisce. Any others? HASSAM: Aye. VENTRUE: Okay, that's four. Cursed children of a psychopathic green- grocer? ... That's four, plus myself, five. [groans] LASOMBRA: Swinging the vote, you black-balling bureaucrat! VENTRUE: If you don't like it, go and form your OWN group. LASOMBRA: Maybe I will. VENTRUE: Okay, then, I charge all of you to disperse this data to your Progeny, and I'll have MY people send out memos in triplicate to YOUR people before the start of the next fiscal year. Meeting adjourned! [banging noise, general muttering and shuffling] Drinks anyone? MALKAV: I think Tremere just ate. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhh ... TZIMISCE: Vy did you throw him out ze window, Bruhah? BRUJAH: I dunno, man, just something I had to do ... [sulking] none of you understand me, anyway ... HASSAM: [whispered] Hey, Tremere! TREMERE: What? HASSAM: Saulot -- you did him in, didn't you? You snuffed him. Sucked him dry. TREMERE: Uhhh ... yeah, I did. [silence] HASSAM: What's it like? ******************* Achim "Kennin" Steigert. Heraldicus en OdM-Purist

door Gersom code monkey, 2163 / 7246 gepost: 3-7-2002 om 10u30	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Yuggoth, hilarisch, bewijst m'n mening over vampire 'T was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves and the mome raths outgrabe --Jabberwocky, Carroll

door Kennin mandraak, 645 / 6705 gepost: 3-7-2002 om 12u13	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	En die mening moge wezen? ******************* Achim "Kennin" Steigert. Heraldicus en OdM-Purist

door Zorbalt Moorderator, 544 / 5435 gepost: 3-7-2002 om 17u16	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Hardstikke gaaf, maar misschien een domme vraag...Who the hell is Sutekh? (Set? ) Zorbalt Kashart Zoon van Mytolosch Kashart Aambeeld Dwerg en Wijsgeer

door Kennin mandraak, 651 / 6705 gepost: 4-7-2002 om 7u57	Zut eek
	Inderdaad, Zorbalt. Sutekh is Seth ******************* Achim "Kennin" Steigert. Heraldicus en OdM-Purist

door malkav achterban(k), 1263 / 7020 gepost: 5-7-2002 om 19u03	Die 3e gennetjes toch!
	Ik heb hier hartelijk om kunnen lachen,..leuk dat ze alle stereotypes van de clans er zo goed in verwerkt hebben...( of in ieder geval hun best hebben gedaan) Vraagje: Waar komt dit stukje vandaan?MaLkAv Qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum.

door Kennin mandraak, 676 / 6705 gepost: 5-7-2002 om 22u38	Re: Die 3e gennetjes toch!
	Kent ECHT niemand dit? Dit is toch algemeengoed voor V:TM...??? ******************* Achim "Kennin" Steigert. Heraldicus en OdM-Purist

door Zorbalt Moorderator, 550 / 5435 gepost: 5-7-2002 om 23u18	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Valt volgens mij wel mee hoor Kennin. Niet iedereen surft dagelijks (nachtelijks ) op de White Wolf site, er uberhaubt van uitgaande dat je bovenstaande daar vandaan hebt. Zorbalt Kashart Zoon van Mytolosch Kashart Aambeeld Dwerg en Wijsgeer

door Shrike draak, 23 / 33 gepost: 30-7-2002 om 13u12 gewijzigd door Shrike 30-7-2002 om 13u15	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Voor dit stukje dien je echt niet speciaal naar WW te gaan hoor, de meeste site's ivm vampire/wod hebben dit stukje wel staan bij Antediluvian Humor, als ik mij niet vergis heb je ook nog stukken die een spelletje kaart met hen beschrijven, en de oprichting van de cama ( of stond dit hier ook reeds in : ik heb het niet echt gelezen daar ik dat reeds zo vaak heb gedaan ) en der zijn nog teksten waarin wordt beschreven hoe ze aan de Clanflaws en disciplines geraken ( deze zijn pas echt goed ) als ik nog eens wat tijd heb zoek ik ze nog wel eens op en post ik ze hier wel eens, indien gewenst. Time for Fear Shrike is here

door Kennin mandraak, 842 / 6705 gepost: 31-7-2002 om 8u55	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	"indien" gewenst??? Hoezo "indien"? Uiter��rd is het gewenst... komt er nog wat van? Ik wacht? Nee, even ernstig. Het zou inderdaad wel leuk zijn. Als je ze ergens vind, copy paste ze dan even hier alsjeblieft. De WW-fans hier zouden je eeuwig dankbaar zijn... en eeuwig kan lang duren bij vampiers, niewaar? ******************* Achim "Kennin" Steigert. Heraldicus en OdM-Purist

door Kennin mandraak, 1138 / 6705 gepost: 22-10-2002 om 11u27	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Goed nieuws! Ben net nog van dit spul naar het Engels aan het vertalen vanuit het Duits! Wordt verwacht: - Clan Disciplines - Clan Flaws - Clan Advantages Alsook: - Antedeluvian battle - Antedeluvian poker en nog meer fraais Achim "Kennin" Steigert Gelieve geen PB'tjes te sturen... ik merk dat toch pas na maanden op!

door SHivan_dr draak, 2 / 6 gepost: 23-3-2004 om 11u27	Re: Vermoedelijk al bekend - item 1 = Beginning (Humor)
	Ik zou zeggen doet geen moeite, die dingen zijn allemaal oorspronkelijk in het engels Op http://www.geocities.com/rowenaknill/jokes/jokes.html vind je ze zo goed als allemaal dus ... Have fun Goed nieuws! Ben net nog van dit spul naar het Engels aan het vertalen vanuit het Duits! Wordt verwacht: - Clan Disciplines - Clan Flaws - Clan Advantages Alsook: - Antedeluvian battle - Antedeluvian poker en nog meer fraais

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