The Quest for a Gaming Group

The question of how to find a gaming group to play with or run for has been asked and answered countless times in the admittedly brief history of our hobby. Still, it remains an ongoing challenge for so many of us, and it seems now is a good time for me to take a crack and giving some advice on the matter.

The theme for my approach, however, is "Be Prepared."

Be prepared to hang out in game stores. A time-honored tradition, this is where many gamers still gather. They come not only to look at the newest, buy the latest, and scour the bins for deals; they come to commune with their culture. Game stores (and related places that actually carry gaming stuff, like hobby shops and comic stores) are struggling, but there are still many a brave souls out there holding the doors open. The trick is to realize that you aren't going to just walk in and find folks to play. You may have to spend some time there, with repeat visits to not only get to know the folks, but to let them all get to know you.

Be prepared to go to local and regional gaming cons. I am of the opinion that this is becoming the superior method for finding gamers of like minds and matching desires to play. It's surprising how many groups will go to such a show and sit down together at the same table, often with their regular Game Master! This can be an excellent way to meet folks who share your interest and may well be open to having you join them, or starting a new game with you. Which brings up my next point -

Be prepared to actually talk to people. Gaming is an inherently social experience, so it should come as no surprise that folks are going to want to talk to you about their games, or about the game you want to run. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself. Be polite, and don't willy-nilly interrupt a game in progress; look for the right time to break into a conversation, or when the group takes a break. Show interest in what they're interested in, and make it clear you wish to make more of a connection than "Hey, howzit goin'?" Generally speaking, folks love to talk about their favorite games, their characters, and the campaigns they're running.

Be prepared to be told "no." A lot of groups are at their limit of people. It can be really frustrating (believe me, I know, having run into this specific problem more than once myself), but this simply will happen. Best you can do in this situation is make sure you'd like to stay in touch in case a slot comes open. If you're friendly about it, you may well discover that they're willing to look into another game that you could play in. Or, perhaps...

Be prepared to run. It may be that you're not accustomed to being a Game Master. Maybe you're just tired of being the GM and would much prefer to play. We all know, however, that there are far less GMs than the hobby needs, so stepping up to the plate may well be your key to getting a group going. Run something you really know, and perhaps plan a short-ish campaign. You may well discover that others in this new group are willing to step up and run stuff as well.
Be prepared to play. So you're the new Game Master in town, and you really want to get your campaign going. You may well find, however, that the locals have the games going they want to play in. If they invite you to join them, do so! Your game can wait a bit, and this new crew will likely become the group you'll want to run for in the future.

Be prepared to travel. We are legion, it's true, but we're still a bit spread out. Very often, you'll discover that a group meets regularly a bit of a drive away. Most of my current Silvermeet crew travels over an hour to get here to play, and this is by no means unheard of in our hobby. I am given to believe they continue to make the trek because we are all having a great time, so it can be worth it.

Be prepared to host. A place to play can be one of the hardest things to come by when getting a new group together. If you're really in the beginning stages of putting something together, you may want to be sure you can offer your place up as an option. Tiny and cramped isn't always fun, but it can beat not having a game at all. At the very least, you might invite everyone over for the first gathering so a discussion can be had about character creation as well as when/where the game will happen.

Be prepared to play games you don't know. Not everyone wants to play what you do. Very often, the local GM is running a system she really likes that you may not have even heard of. Don't turn your nose up; give it a shot, at least. Not only will you ingratiate yourself to your new group of gaming friends, but you may actually learn something new and fun while you're at it.
Be prepared to play games you don't like. OK, this may be one of the hardest things to force yourself to do. No matter how badly I might want to play, there are certain games I simply will not play, period. (Seriously, hard cash on the barrel would be required to get me to play certain systems.) However, if you just can't find a group otherwise, it may be time to suck it up, mentally pinch your nose, and try to discover what it is that makes this game appealing to others.

Be prepared to play with "them." Almost every group has one or more folks who just set your teeth on edge. It may be they are there because they're long-time friends with the GM. Perhaps they're the host. Maybe they had everyone fooled at first and then they just devolved into the soul-crushing presence they are now. Or maybe they've just always been there, and no one's going to get rid of them, so you'd best get used to their presence and figure out how to get along.

There's more to talk about where this is concerned (for instance, I didn't even touch on `Net solutions and social networking), but hopefully this addresses some helpful face-to-face basics.

Bron